Porn is love you can see.
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
