haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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