It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
