I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
my mom just found my flavored lube in the basement. she gave me a lecture about how "giving head is degrading" omg i feel sooooo bad for my dad
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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