OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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