how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
wow bdsm is so cute
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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