I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
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