what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
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