I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
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