that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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