I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
