he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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