I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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