what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
