the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Help me help you realize you are a moron
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
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