never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You were trust falling into bushes
Randomize
