well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
