Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
i think my cat just said my name.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
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