I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
