i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Randomize
