I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I got her a Nickelback box set.
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
