is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
please come you make the beer taste better
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
