k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
