Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
