Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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