i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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