Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
