just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
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