All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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