reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
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