I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
