im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
