that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
