Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Randomize
