True but thats because hes a fetus.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Randomize
