Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
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