So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
Your brother came in a girls mouth for the first time last night... Ah the tales told whilst buying minors beer.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Randomize
