my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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