OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
