you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Semen is not good for contacts.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
