My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
