me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
