Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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