they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
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