Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
