I can tuck mytits in my pants
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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