i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
