look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
