is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
In the 2nd smartest move of my day your ringtone for when you call is now the Space Jam theme.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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