I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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